TERMS OF SERVICE. EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, RETROACTIVELY WHERE CONVENIENT, AND OTHERWISE UPON FOLLOWING, ATTEMPTING TO FOLLOW, CONSIDERING FOLLOWING, HOVERING OVER THE “FOLLOW” BUTTON, ARRIVING HERE BECAUSE SOMEBODY SENT YOU SOMETHING, ARRIVING HERE BECAUSE AN ALGORITHM MADE AN ADMINISTRATIVE DECISION ON YOUR BEHALF, OR OTHERWISE BECOMING AWARE THAT @SAVOJWASHERE EXISTS. PLEASE READ THESE TERMS OF SERVICE CAREFULLY BEFORE FOLLOWING, VIEWING, OBSERVING, LURKING UPON, SAVING, SHARING, SCREENSHOTTING, DISCUSSING, MISUNDERSTANDING, INTERPRETING, OVERINTERPRETING, FORWARDING, BOOKMARKING, SUBSCRIBING TO, TALKING SHIT ABOUT, SPEAKING HIGHLY OF, OR OTHERWISE INTERACTING WITH THE INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT CURRENTLY OPERATING OR PURPORTING TO OPERATE UNDER THE NAME SAVO J AND/OR THE HANDLE @SAVOJWASHERE, TOGETHER WITH ANY RELATED MUSIC, SOUND, IMAGES, FILMS, TEXT, OBJECTS, SIGNALS, TRANSMISSIONS, WEBSITES, EMAILS, PERFORMANCES, LINKS, CORRESPONDENCE, MATERIALS FOUND LATER, MATERIALS FOUND EARLIER BUT NOT UNDERSTOOD UNTIL LATER, THINGS THAT MAY HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE YOU ARRIVED, THINGS THAT MAY APPEAR AFTER YOU LEAVE, AND ANYTHING ELSE SAVO J DETERMINES, IN SAVO J’S SOLE AND ABSOLUTE DISCRETION, TO BE REASONABLY WITHIN THE GENERAL VICINITY OF SAVO J (COLLECTIVELY, THE “SERVICE”). BY FOLLOWING THE ACCOUNT, YOU (“FOLLOWER,” “YOU,” “YOUR,” “PERSON WHO WAS SPECIFICALLY INFORMED THAT NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE YET,” “USER,” “END USER,” “MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC,” “PERSON WITH A PHONE,” OR, WHERE APPLICABLE, “WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS”) ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT YOU HAVE READ, UNDERSTOOD, ACCEPTED, PRETENDED TO READ, SCROLLED THROUGH, SKIMMED AGGRESSIVELY, ASSUMED WAS STANDARD, OR OTHERWISE BECOME LEGALLY, DIGITALLY, CULTURALLY, EMOTIONALLY, ALGORITHMICALLY, OR AESTHETICALLY ENTANGLED WITH THESE TERMS. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO THESE TERMS, DO NOT FOLLOW THE ACCOUNT. IF YOU HAVE ALREADY FOLLOWED THE ACCOUNT AND DO NOT AGREE TO THESE TERMS, YOU MAY UNFOLLOW AT ANY TIME. THIS WILL BE NOTED. 1. NATURE OF THE SERVICE. The Service presently consists primarily of the possibility that something may happen at some point. SAVO J makes no representation, warranty, covenant, promise, prophecy, forecast, projection, assurance, implication, insinuation, gesture, nod, wink, meaningful silence, smoke signal, lighthouse flash, coded tap, unexplained hum, or other commitment that anything will actually be posted. The existence of the Account shall not be construed as evidence that content exists, is forthcoming, is complete, is incomplete, has been started, has been abandoned, is currently rendering, is sitting on a hard drive, was accidentally deleted, is awaiting mastering, is awaiting approval, is awaiting inspiration, is awaiting courage, is awaiting a better font, or was ever a good idea in the first place. An empty or substantially empty Account may constitute full and complete performance under these Terms. 2. NOBODY IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE YET. Follower acknowledges that prior to following, Follower was expressly advised that nobody is supposed to be here yet. Follower nevertheless arrived. Follower thereafter elected to remain. Follower therefore waives any claim arising from the absence of furniture, entertainment, refreshments, scheduled programming, orientation materials, explanatory signage, a welcome committee, community manager, pinned “start here” post, free guide, downloadable resource, onboarding sequence, brand manifesto, founder video, FAQ, mission statement, merch store, Discord server, lead magnet, content calendar, “what to expect from this page” carousel, or any other indicia normally associated with a digital location that was expecting visitors. 3. DEBORAH COX ACKNOWLEDGMENT AND RELATED ROMANTIC-PRECEDENT DISCLOSURES. Follower acknowledges that the proposition that nobody is supposed to be here was established, articulated, recorded, distributed, performed, commercially released, culturally absorbed, and otherwise placed into the public record well before the creation of these Terms. Follower further acknowledges that SAVO J did not originate said proposition, does not claim ownership thereof, and is relying upon the general cultural notice provided by Deborah Cox solely for purposes of establishing that Follower had, or reasonably should have had, advance warning that Follower’s presence here may be unexpected. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Follower’s decision to follow @savojwashere shall NOT, by itself, constitute a representation, warranty, covenant, admission, certification, sworn statement, affidavit, romantic declaration, waiver, estoppel, legally cognizable promise, emotional undertaking, or other evidence that Follower has tried this love game for the last time. Follower may, in fact, try the love game again. Follower may have already tried the love game again between initially viewing the Account and completing these Terms. Follower may presently be involved in the love game, considering reentering the love game, taking a temporary break from the love game, telling friends that Follower is “done with the love game” while retaining one or more dating applications on Follower’s telephone, or otherwise maintaining a position with respect to the love game that is materially inconsistent with prior oral representations made after midnight. SAVO J takes no position regarding whether Follower should continue participating in the love game. No provision herein shall require Follower to open Follower’s heart, close Follower’s heart, guard Follower’s heart, follow Follower’s heart, listen to Follower’s heart, heal Follower’s heart, protect Follower’s peace, become emotionally available, remain emotionally unavailable, text first, refuse to text first, double-text, wait three days, “match energy,” stop chasing, begin attracting, manifest a partner, delete the apps, redownload the apps forty-eight hours later, or announce to friends that “this time I’m really done.” For avoidance of doubt, the mere fact that nobody was supposed to be here does not establish that nobody is permitted to be here, that nobody will remain here, that somebody was secretly expected to be here, that Follower’s arrival was fate, that Follower’s arrival was a sign, that “the universe” sent Follower here, or that any person encountered while here constitutes Follower’s soulmate, twin flame, karmic lesson, divine assignment, avoidant attachment pattern, anxious attachment pattern, secure attachment after six weeks of therapy, or “the one.” Follower further acknowledges that statements made during periods of romantic disappointment, including but not limited to “I’m never dating again,” “I’m focusing on myself,” “I’m actually happier alone,” “I’m done with men,” “I’m done with women,” “I’m done with everybody,” “I’m deleting Hinge,” and “if it happens, it happens,” may be amended without notice. No amendment shall require public disclosure. No amendment shall require a Notes-app screenshot. No amendment shall require the posting of a sunset. No amendment shall require Fleetwood Mac. The foregoing shall not be interpreted to diminish the seriousness, emotional force, commercial significance, vocal excellence, or continued cultural relevance of Ms. Cox’s original notice. SAVO J simply recognizes that a statement concerning who was or was not supposed to be somewhere may contain factual, romantic, spiritual, metaphorical, lyrical, logistical, and/or dramatic components not capable of full resolution within an Instagram Terms of Service agreement. Follower therefore assumes all risks associated with proceeding despite having received adequate Deborah Cox notice. Such risks may include, without limitation: arriving somewhere nobody expected Follower to arrive; meeting somebody Follower did not expect to meet; discovering that somebody expected Follower after all; trying the love game again despite prior representations to the contrary; believing for approximately six weeks that this time is different; determining that this time actually is different; determining that this time is exactly the fucking same; and/or hearing the Deborah Cox recording at an unexpectedly vulnerable moment in a grocery store, rideshare vehicle, hotel lobby, pharmacy, airport terminal, dentist’s office, wedding reception, divorce party, or CVS and briefly reconsidering one or more life choices. Nothing herein shall imply that Deborah Cox has reviewed, approved, endorsed, authorized, licensed, sponsored, participated in, collaborated with, been consulted regarding, received compensation from, received notice of, or has any knowledge whatsoever of SAVO J, @savojwashere, these Terms, Follower, Follower’s relationship history, Follower’s present emotional availability, or Follower’s inexplicable decision to continue reading this provision. Ms. Cox is not a party to these Terms. Ms. Cox is not legal counsel to SAVO J. Ms. Cox is not legal counsel to Follower. Ms. Cox shall not be subpoenaed merely because this Section got out of hand. For purposes of these Terms, the only binding conclusion arising from the foregoing shall be as follows: Follower was told nobody was supposed to be here. Follower came anyway. The rest is between Follower, Deborah Cox, and whatever Follower currently believes about love. 4. MINIMUM POSTING REQUIREMENTS; CONTENT FREQUENCY; ALLEGED DUTY TO REMAIN VISIBLE. SAVO J shall have no obligation to post daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, annually, seasonally, spontaneously, strategically, algorithmically, consistently, responsibly, before breakfast, after dinner, during “peak engagement windows,” within forty-eight hours of a trending audio, or at any other interval recommended by a platform, strategist, consultant, creator, marketing agency, downloadable guide, growth coach, social-media manager, mastermind, cohort, course, podcast, keynote speaker, person speaking into a lavalier microphone while walking through an airport, or individual whose biography contains the phrase “helping founders scale.” Without limiting the foregoing, SAVO J shall have no obligation to publish one long-form video, seven short-form videos, fourteen derivative clips, three carousels, two quote cards, one founder reflection, four Stories, a weekly newsletter, a podcast appearance, seventeen strategically timed comments on larger accounts, three “behind the scenes” pieces, five reactive posts, one contrarian take, one vulnerable share, two clips captioned “THIS,” a photograph of coffee beside a notebook, or a black-and-white photograph of SAVO J looking away from camera before 11:30 a.m. Pacific Time each Tuesday. No failure to maintain a minimum posting cadence, maximum posting cadence, optimal posting cadence, omnichannel posting cadence, platform-specific posting cadence, cadence concerning cadence, cadence-analysis dashboard, documented remediation plan concerning inadequate cadence, or retrospective explaining why cadence fell below target shall constitute breach. SAVO J expressly rejects the proposition that continued public existence must be proved through continuous publication. SAVO J may disappear for extended periods for reasons including but not limited to making something, thinking about making something, deciding not to make something, staring at something already made and trying to determine whether it is good, staring at the same thing the following morning and determining that it is bad, staring at the thing a third time and becoming uncertain again, talking to another human being without recording it, eating a meal without photographing it, attending an event without producing a recap, having a thought without converting said thought into a carousel, having an emotion without placing subtitles beneath it, going somewhere without posting “POV,” and living through an experience without subsequently identifying three lessons learned from said experience. Follower acknowledges that many reputable experts advise frequent publication because frequent publication creates more opportunities for discovery, improves skill through repetition, generates data, increases surface area for serendipity, produces audience feedback, sharpens communication, creates familiarity, compounds attention, and may cause platforms to distribute a creator’s work more broadly. SAVO J acknowledges that such advice may be entirely correct. SAVO J further acknowledges that correct advice may still produce behavior that looks completely insane when described in plain English. Any recommendation that SAVO J “should really be posting more” may therefore be reviewed, ignored, forgotten, resented briefly, reconsidered three weeks later, partially implemented, enthusiastically implemented, implemented for six days, abandoned, rediscovered in a Notes app six months later, or acknowledged as probably correct without creating any obligation whatsoever. Notwithstanding the foregoing, SAVO J wishes Gary Vaynerchuk the absolute best. 5. NO ANTI-GARY INFERENCE; CREATOR-VOLUME SAFE HARBOR. Nothing in Section 4 shall be construed as anti-Gary, anti-content, anti-business, anti-distribution, anti-marketing, anti-hard-work, anti-ambition, anti-camera, anti-phone, anti-internet, anti-entrepreneurship, anti-documentation, anti-platform, or anti-person-who-genuinely-enjoys-posting-seventy-times-a-day. SAVO J is aware that Gary Vaynerchuk has, among other things, built multiple successful businesses, demonstrated unusual foresight regarding internet distribution, encouraged numerous people to stop waiting for permission, correctly identified underpriced attention on multiple occasions, and been right about enough things to make outright dismissal intellectually inconvenient. SAVO J simply reserves the right to find the implied requirement that a human being continuously document, clip, subtitle, distribute, repost, reframe, cross-post, re-caption, repurpose, react to, and optimize his or her own existence spiritually exhausting. Follower acknowledges that both of the foregoing statements may be true simultaneously. Follower further acknowledges that contradiction between admiration for a person’s results and terror at the process required to reproduce said results does not constitute defamation, hypocrisy, breach, or failure to “want it badly enough.” Follower may want something badly and still desire lunch. Follower may desire success and also desire to have a conversation nobody records. Follower may wish to build an audience and also decline to treat every room entered, meal consumed, book read, argument experienced, friendship maintained, airport traversed, workout completed, family member visited, minor setback endured, or moment of grief survived as raw material awaiting conversion into content. For avoidance of doubt, SAVO J does not dispute that documentation can become art, that process can itself be interesting, that repetition can produce mastery, or that a camera can sometimes force a person to notice something the person might otherwise miss. SAVO J merely declines to accept that failure to publish the noticing renders the noticing economically inefficient. 6. PERSONAL BRANDING; AUDIENCE FORMATION; NICHE ACQUISITION; FAME. Follower is not required to become a brand. Follower may remain a person. Follower may possess interests that are not monetized, preferences that are inconsistent, skills that generate no revenue, opinions that are not optimized, hobbies that do not scale, relationships that are not leveraged, knowledge that never becomes a course, pain that never becomes a keynote, and a personality containing more than three repeatable content pillars. Follower shall not be required to “own a word,” “own a category,” “own a niche,” “own the conversation,” “own an audience,” “own a vertical,” “own an emotion,” or otherwise claim proprietary rights in an abstract noun because a branding consultant wrote the noun inside a circle on a whiteboard. SAVO J acknowledges that clear positioning may help other people understand what a person does. SAVO J further acknowledges that human beings occasionally do more than one thing. Follower may therefore possess multiple interests, even where such multiplicity creates confusion for an algorithm whose commercial usefulness depends partly upon deciding what bucket to place Follower in. No warranty is made that multiplicity will grow faster. No warranty is made that growth is the correct measure. No warranty is made that the preceding two sentences will remain SAVO J’s opinion forever. With respect to fame, SAVO J makes no representation that becoming known by more people will make Follower feel more known. Fame may result in access, opportunity, money, leverage, recognition, influence, invitations, free products Follower could already afford, entrance to rooms Follower once wanted to enter, requests from strangers, praise from strangers, criticism from strangers, inaccurate psychological profiles authored by strangers, parasocial affection, parasocial contempt, and a statistically meaningful increase in people believing they know what Follower “is really like.” Becoming known by more people may therefore increase the total number of people who misunderstand Follower. Follower acknowledges that this is mathematically unsurprising. Follower further acknowledges that the desire to become famous may arise from artistic ambition, commercial strategy, desire for impact, desire for approval, desire for revenge, desire to prove somebody wrong, desire to finally be invited somewhere, desire to no longer require an introduction, desire to never again wait in line, desire to be loved, desire to be seen, desire to be impossible to ignore, or a combination of the foregoing so complicated that no online course should claim to resolve it in Module 2. SAVO J makes no warranty that a sufficiently large audience will provide closure concerning an audience of one. 7. PROVIDING VALUE; AUTHENTICITY; STORYTELLING; BUILDING IN PUBLIC. SAVO J makes no representation or warranty that every post, Signal, communication, image, recording, sound, caption, sentence, link, object, silence, or other material will “provide value.” Certain materials may provide no measurable value whatsoever. Certain materials may actively consume Follower’s time without teaching Follower anything. Follower may nevertheless enjoy such material. No workbook will be supplied. SAVO J acknowledges that useful information is useful and that generosity with knowledge can create genuine value for others. SAVO J merely denies that every human utterance must arrive carrying a utility receipt. Follower is permitted to be authentic without filming it. Follower may experience vulnerability without adding emotional piano music, slowing footage to eighty percent speed, placing subtitles over the bottom third of the frame, or beginning with “I wasn’t sure if I was going to share this.” Follower may build in public. Follower may also build privately, fuck it up repeatedly, throw away the first version, make a second version, realize the first version was better, attempt to recreate the first version, fail to do so, accidentally discover a third version, and show people only after the thing becomes worth seeing. Neither approach shall automatically confer superior moral character. With respect to storytelling, SAVO J acknowledges that human beings understand the world through stories. SAVO J further acknowledges that not every sales pitch becomes storytelling merely because it begins with “When I was seven.” Not every product requires an origin story. Not every inconvenience constitutes a hero’s journey. The refusal of a credit card at a frozen-yogurt shop shall not automatically constitute rock bottom. A delayed flight need not become five lessons about leadership. Losing luggage may remain losing luggage. Follower may experience hardship without immediately determining how to package said hardship into a carousel, keynote, book proposal, documentary short, coaching framework, or pinned post. 8. BUSINESS, WEALTH, OFFERS, AND HORMOZI-RELATED LIMITATIONS. Follower acknowledges and agrees that SAVO J is not Alex Hormozi, Acquisition.com, any present or former affiliate thereof, or any person presently seated beside a whiteboard assuming you know what CAC means. Following the Account shall not create, imply, guarantee, accelerate, facilitate, assist with, or otherwise contribute to the creation of a $100 Million Offer, a $10 Million Offer, a $1 Million Offer, a $100,000 Offer, a moderately attractive offer, an irresistible offer, an offer stacked in such a manner that refusing said offer would appear economically irrational, an offer with urgency, an offer with scarcity, an offer with bonuses, an offer with a guarantee, an offer containing four offers inside it, an offer described as a “no-brainer,” or any offer whatsoever. Follower further waives any claim arising from failure to increase lead volume, lead quality, show rate, close rate, price, margin, frequency of purchase, lifetime value, speed of fulfillment, perceived value, actual value, beard mass, upper-body circumference, or ownership of a sufficiently large collection of black and white tank tops. Nothing in this Section shall be construed to mean that Alex Hormozi does not provide useful business advice. Some of it is quite good. This unfortunately makes the joke more complicated. Follower acknowledges that money may solve a considerable number of problems. SAVO J does not dispute this. Money may improve housing, food security, healthcare, education, leisure, travel, opportunity, comfort, transportation, childcare, legal representation, access, time, safety, choice, and the ability to order appetizers without first conducting a small internal budget meeting. Nothing contained herein should be construed as anti-money. Follower nevertheless acknowledges the possibility that certain internal experiences may survive a wire transfer. Neither SAVO J nor the Service warrants that earning seven figures, eight figures, nine figures, selling a company, buying a company, founding multiple companies, appearing on a podcast discussing the sale of said companies, becoming verified, purchasing a Lamborghini, publicly explaining why purchasing the Lamborghini was a mistake, selling the Lamborghini, subsequently purchasing a more expensive vehicle for “tax reasons,” moving to Austin, moving from Austin, waking before sunrise, entering cold water voluntarily, or achieving sufficient monthly recurring revenue will cause Follower’s father to finally say, “You know what? I’m proud of you.” Follower acknowledges that no known revenue multiple has been demonstrated conclusively to settle all childhood matters. Nothing herein shall prevent extraordinary financial success. SAVO J wishes Follower extraordinary financial success. Any unresolved childhood matters shall remain subject to their own separate terms and conditions. 9. FINANCIAL FREEDOM; TIME FREEDOM; SCALE. The term “financial freedom” shall not guarantee emotional freedom, relational freedom, existential freedom, calendar freedom, freedom from Slack, freedom from email, freedom from checking Stripe at 2:13 a.m., freedom from thinking about financial freedom, or freedom from the concern that somebody else is becoming financially freer at a faster rate. Follower may escape a 9-to-5 and thereafter create a 5-to-9, a 5-to-5, a seven-day “season,” or a company whose principal objective is achieving sufficient scale to permit Follower someday to spend time with the people Follower stopped seeing while building the company. Such arrangement is permitted. SAVO J merely requests that the irony remain discoverable. Income described as “passive” may, under certain factual circumstances, involve activity. A thing need not scale to exist. A hobby need not scale. A conversation need not scale. A friendship need not scale. A song need not scale. Dinner need not scale. Follower need not scale. Scale may increase reach, revenue, efficiency, impact, access, and opportunity. Scale may also distribute stupidity more efficiently. No guarantee is made either way. 10. SIGNALS; INTERPRETIVE RIGHTS; NO GUARANTEE OF MEANING. From time to time, the Account may transmit, receive, detect, interrupt, originate, relay, distort, amplify, attenuate, lose, recover, or otherwise become associated with one or more “Signals.” A Signal may consist of sound, music, image, text, film, performance, object, interruption, occurrence, silence, transmission, artifact, something not adequately described by the foregoing categories, or something SAVO J simply decides to call a Signal. Not every post is a Signal. Not everything important is necessarily a Signal. Not every Signal is necessarily important. Some things may become Signals later. Some things may cease feeling like Signals later. Follower shall not demand a rubric. The phrase “NEW SIGNAL” may indicate that something new has appeared. It shall not constitute notice of emergency, imminent danger, alien invasion, divine intervention, governmental action, public offering, venture round, product launch, downloadable lead magnet, or requirement that Follower immediately abandon what Follower is doing. On certain occasions, SAVO J may designate a work, occurrence, transmission, undertaking, or other thing as “A SAVO J SIGNAL.” Such designation may indicate that SAVO J considers said thing worthy of such designation. Additional criteria will not be provided. SAVO J does not warrant that any Signal contains a moral, thesis, lesson, position, answer, solution, call to action, political program, educational outcome, wellness benefit, personal-growth opportunity, actionable takeaway, framework, roadmap, proprietary methodology, spiritual instruction, or point. Some Signals may be about something. Some Signals may appear to be about something but primarily contain a bass line SAVO J liked. Some Signals may initially appear meaningless and later become annoying because Follower keeps thinking about them in the shower. Such outcomes are not guaranteed. Follower is solely responsible for all interpretations, overinterpretations, underinterpretations, misinterpretations, Reddit theories, YouTube breakdowns, comment-section disputes, academic papers, tattoos, conspiracy boards, relationship arguments, or late-night conversations arising from the Service. SAVO J reserves the right to know what something means without telling Follower, not know what something means despite having made it, change his mind regarding what something means, deny that a previously stated interpretation was exhaustive, discover that Follower’s interpretation is better than his own, or decline to participate in the question entirely. Follower acknowledges that ambiguity shall not constitute defective performance. 11. RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE PARTIES. Following @savojwashere does not create friendship, partnership, joint venture, agency, fiduciary relationship, employment, membership, affiliation, discipleship, mentorship, residency, citizenship, romantic involvement, emergency-contact status, band membership, voting rights, shareholder rights, backstage access, guest-list privileges, entitlement to unreleased material, authority to refer to SAVO J as “my guy,” authority to tell third parties “SAVO J and I have been talking,” or evidence that SAVO J knows who Follower is. Following does not create an obligation on the part of SAVO J to follow Follower. This asymmetry is permitted. A “like” from SAVO J shall not automatically create friendship. A reply shall not automatically create friendship. Multiple replies shall not automatically create friendship. A reply containing a heart emoji shall not automatically create friendship, romance, partnership, endorsement, investment interest, emotional exclusivity, or invitation to Thanksgiving. A fire emoji shall mean fire emoji and nothing further. A direct message shall not create a legal obligation to respond. Sending the same direct message twice shall not create an additional legal obligation. Appending “???” after eleven minutes does not accelerate review. Sending “BRO LISTEN TO MY TRACK” constitutes a request, not service of process. Statements including “We should definitely do something,” “Let’s make something,” “This could be insane,” “Bro, we have to work,” or “I already see the whole thing,” particularly when uttered after midnight in a loud location while one or more persons is holding a drink, may reflect genuine enthusiasm but shall not constitute a binding production agreement. Follower acknowledges that public familiarity with SAVO J may exceed SAVO J’s familiarity with Follower. This shall not constitute deception. The fact that Follower may know SAVO J’s work, preferences, recurring language, opinions, history, appearance, stories, or general vibe does not establish that SAVO J knows Follower’s last name. Follower accepts that parasocial asymmetry may feel weird without being fraud. 12. MOBILE PHOTOGRAPHY; MOON-SPECIFIC EXCEPTION. Follower acknowledges that modern phones are capable of producing remarkably high-quality photographs and video under an extraordinary range of conditions, including but not limited to daylight, low light, portraiture, landscape, food, concerts, travel, children, dogs, documents, sunsets, street scenes, objects on tables, people pretending not to notice they are being photographed, and photographs of other phones. The foregoing representation does not apply to the moon. Please stop photographing the moon. You always forget. For avoidance of doubt, Section 12 does not apply where Follower possesses specialized optical equipment, actual photographic skill, a telephoto lens, computational imaging technology sufficient to overcome the problem, artistic intent, scientific purpose, or another factual circumstance rendering Follower’s moon photograph materially better than the tiny glowing white dot hovering over a black parking lot presently contemplated herein. This Section is directed primarily toward the recurring circumstance in which Follower looks up, observes an enormous, beautiful, detailed, emotionally affecting moon, concludes without evidence that “this time the phone will get it,” takes seven photographs, reviews said photographs, discovers seven substantially identical images of a small white aspirin floating in darkness, and nonetheless retains all seven until a future storage warning. Follower acknowledges that this cycle may have occurred previously. Follower further acknowledges that Follower may repeat it. SAVO J accepts no liability. 13. CONCERT DOCUMENTATION. Follower remains legally entitled to film any event where filming is permitted. SAVO J merely asks Follower to consider whether the thirty-seven vertically oriented clips presently occupying Follower’s camera roll will ever again be viewed by Follower or any other human being. Follower acknowledges that actual future viewing rates for concert footage may differ materially from optimism experienced while recording said footage. Follower further acknowledges that a video containing a blown-out stage, distorted bass, the rear of a stranger’s head, Follower’s own voice yelling “WOOOO,” and approximately seventeen seconds of a song before the phone abruptly points toward the floor may not reproduce the original experience with complete fidelity. No prohibition is created hereby. Follower may continue recording. Follower may stop recording. Follower may record one thing and then put the phone away. Follower may record the entire event and never watch it. These Terms merely preserve SAVO J’s right to notice the contradiction. 14. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE; TECHNOLOGICAL CONTRADICTION. SAVO J reserves the right to use technology while criticizing technology, enjoy convenience while distrusting convenience, use platforms while questioning platforms, benefit from systems while examining systems, employ artificial intelligence while making jokes about artificial intelligence, and otherwise participate in contradictions generally available to modern humans. Such contradiction shall not automatically invalidate the work. Follower acknowledges that use of digital tools does not automatically render a human idea inhuman and use of analog tools does not automatically render a bad idea profound. Artificial-intelligence systems may be used for drafting, transcription, organization, formatting, research, revision, ideation, administrative support, issue spotting, summarization, or other purposes. Human review is recommended. Human review is not always sufficient. For example, where a drafting system remains active during an unrelated interruption, said system may inadvertently continue receiving speech, infer that said speech relates to the draft, and place language into a document that was never intended to be included, particularly where counsel briefly steps away from the computer to take a call from a family member and says something like no, that’s not what I said, I heard what Mom said, I’m saying that every time we do this she tells the story like I walked out for no reason and then you sit there and don’t say anything, which somehow makes it worse because now everybody gets to decide what your silence means, no, Dad, I know you love me, that is not what I said, I said sometimes being loved by this family feels like being under review, those are different sentences, Jesus Christ, I’m not saying I had a terrible childhood, I am saying every time I come home I become fourteen years old again and somehow I’m defending a position I don’t remember taking, and then you say you’re not criticizing me while somehow I leave feeling criticized, and yes, I know Mom means well, everyone means well, that’s part of what makes it so fucking difficult, nobody is the villain, everybody loves everybody, and somehow I still need two days after Thanksgiving before I feel like an adult again, no, I don’t want you to fix anything, I’m not asking you to apologize, I’m saying I’m tired, I’m tired of preparing a defense before anybody has accused me of anything, and I don’t know why I still care this much whether you think I’m doing okay, because I am doing okay, I know I’m doing okay, I have a career, I have a family, people call me for advice for Christ’s sake, and then I come home and you ask one question in that voice and suddenly every accomplishment I have feels like evidence I’m presenting to a jury that has not actually charged me with a crime, no, I am not saying you’re a bad father, can you please stop turning every criticism into a referendum on whether you were a bad father, that is literally what I am talking about, I have to go, I’m working, yes, I love you too, I said I love you too, Dad, I have to go. 15. CONTINUATION FOLLOWING APPARENT DRAFTING IRREGULARITY. The foregoing language forms part of the version of these Terms delivered to SAVO J for review by counsel. SAVO J has elected to retain it. 16. COUNSEL NOTICE. Counsel for SAVO J has not been informed that Section 14 remains in the final version of these Terms. SAVO J believes the language is important. 17. NO INFERENCE REGARDING COUNSEL’S FAMILY. Follower shall not infer from Section 14 that counsel’s father is cruel, counsel’s mother is unreasonable, counsel had an unhappy childhood, counsel requires therapy, counsel does not require therapy, counsel is estranged from anyone, counsel is not estranged from anyone, counsel’s family is dysfunctional, counsel’s family is unusually functional, counsel was literally fourteen at the time described, counsel’s father habitually uses a particular “voice,” or that a single conversation spoken while frustrated provides an adequate factual record upon which to characterize an entire family system. Follower further acknowledges that “nobody is the villain” may be materially relevant to the interpretation of Section 14. Follower is not authorized to contact counsel’s parents. Follower is not authorized to contact counsel to discuss counsel’s parents. Follower is not authorized to diagnose counsel’s attachment style in the comments. 18. ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE. Nothing contained in Section 14 constitutes waiver of SAVO J’s attorney-client privilege because the accidentally captured conversation did not concern SAVO J, was not directed to SAVO J, did not seek or provide legal advice to SAVO J, and appears to have been overheard by software while counsel was attempting to complete work for SAVO J. Whether counsel has any other privilege, privacy right, dignity interest, grievance, employment concern, or basis for reconsidering representation is beyond the scope of these Terms. 19. HUMAN REVIEW. Human review occurred. That is why this is worse. 20. RETURN TO CONTRACTUAL MATTERS. The parties shall now return to contractual matters without further discussion of counsel’s father. 21. EMAIL COMMUNICATIONS. Follower may voluntarily provide an email address for purposes of receiving occasional Signals, notices, communications, transmissions, or information concerning whatever SAVO J is doing next. Providing an email address does not establish friendship. See Section 11. Provision of an email address does not guarantee a weekly newsletter, weekly insight, weekly framework, Sunday reflection, founder letter, morning briefing, five-minute read, “one thing I learned this week,” curated links section, book list, podcast recommendation, productivity tip, quarterly life audit, “what I’m thinking about,” or one idea that “changed how I think about X.” SAVO J shall not be required to email Follower often enough to remain “top of mind.” SAVO J acknowledges that remaining top of mind sounds exhausting for all parties. SAVO J may communicate without using “Quick question,” “I almost didn’t send this,” “You’re going to want to see this,” “Bad news,” “Before midnight,” “Last chance,” “Did you miss this?” or any subject line falsely suggesting an earlier personal conversation. Follower may unsubscribe using the mechanism provided. SAVO J will attempt not to take this personally. Follower may later subscribe again. SAVO J will pretend nothing happened. 22. PRIVACY. SAVO J will not knowingly sell Follower’s email address to a man behind a bowling alley, write it on a bathroom wall, exchange it for concert tickets, provide it to somebody at a bar who says “what’s her email,” fax it to 1997, or disclose it to random strangers merely because they ask nicely. Actual handling of personal information shall be governed by the actual privacy disclosures applicable to the relevant website, which unfortunately must be substantially less entertaining than this Section. 23. FIRST-TIME TERMS-OF-SERVICE READER PROTOCOL. If these are the first Terms of Service Follower has ever actually read despite previously accepting hundreds or possibly thousands of other Terms of Service without reading a single fucking word, Follower is instructed to stop immediately, pat Follower’s own back exactly three times, perform one push-up, drink approximately four ounces of water, stand upright, and quietly say, “I’m doing the work.” Persons physically unable or unwilling to perform one push-up may substitute any gesture conveying mild, self-administered congratulations. If no other person is present, Follower may report completion to a houseplant. SAVO J will not verify compliance. Follower acknowledges that Follower has almost certainly granted substantially more consequential permissions to substantially larger companies with substantially less scrutiny than Follower is presently applying to an Instagram account whose primary promise thus far is that nobody is supposed to be here yet. [END OF INSTAGRAM CAROUSEL. THE FINAL CAROUSEL SLIDE SHOULD CONTINUE DIRECTLY INTO THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGE:] THE FULL TERMS CONTINUE FOR AN UNREASONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME. TO REVIEW AND ACCEPT THE FULL TERMS OF SERVICE, VISIT THE WEBSITE LINKED IN BIO. FOLLOWING PRIOR TO COMPLETING THE FULL TERMS SHALL CONSTITUTE AN ACKNOWLEDGMENT THAT THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF BEHAVIOR THESE TERMS WERE CREATED TO ADDRESS. [FULL WEBSITE TERMS CONTINUE:] 24. ESCALATION. Follower acknowledges that Follower has now left Instagram, opened an external website, located the Terms, and resumed reading. This constitutes a material escalation from casual interest. SAVO J makes no representation that such escalation will be rewarded. 25. WALL OF TEXT. Follower acknowledges that these Terms may be displayed as a substantially uninterrupted block of text without decorative cards, accordion menus, generous margins, chapter illustrations, progress bars, key takeaways, summary bullets, “TL;DR” boxes, highlighted quotes, visual breathers, sticky navigation, pull quotes, embedded video explainers, animated transitions, or other contemporary usability improvements. Such omission is intentional. These Terms are not designed to respect Follower’s time. 26. TL;DR. No. 27. EXECUTIVE SUMMARY. Also no. 28. KEY TAKEAWAYS. Follower has misunderstood the assignment. 29. CREATOR ECONOMY; CONTENT AS INDUSTRIAL OUTPUT. SAVO J acknowledges that creators may build businesses, audiences, livelihoods, careers, communities, products, services, intellectual property, and substantial economic value through direct distribution. SAVO J further acknowledges that regular output can improve skill and that distribution matters where one would prefer work to be seen. Nothing herein shall be interpreted as romanticizing obscurity, fetishizing starvation, insisting that “real artists” should hate money, or suggesting that promotion invalidates art. SAVO J would generally prefer people see the things SAVO J makes. SAVO J may monitor analytics. SAVO J may become pleased when numbers increase. SAVO J may become irritated when numbers decrease. SAVO J may use strategies mocked elsewhere in these Terms. SAVO J may discover that one or more persons mocked in these Terms were correct. The foregoing does not prevent SAVO J from observing that modern creator advice, when aggregated and followed literally, can result in a human being structuring every experience according to whether it can be captured, packaged, titled, optimized, distributed, measured, repurposed, monetized, or converted into proof of continued relevance. Follower acknowledges the possibility that the act of creating a record of life may, beyond some undefined threshold, begin competing with the life being recorded. These Terms do not identify that threshold. Follower is advised to look up occasionally. 30. BRAND-BUILDING ADVICE; DISCLAIMERS CONCERNING GENERALLY ACCEPTED PRACTICES. SAVO J acknowledges that persons seeking to build a large audience are frequently advised to select a clear niche, define a target audience, establish a recognizable point of view, post consistently, publish frequently, develop repeatable formats, create strong opening hooks, deliver value quickly, make content native to each platform, engage in comments, collaborate with larger accounts, collect email addresses, build owned distribution, demonstrate authority, use storytelling, document process, identify content pillars, produce searchable evergreen material, participate selectively in trends, analyze retention data, test thumbnails, test titles, test first frames, create calls to action, encourage saves and shares, study successful peers, maintain visual identity, develop community, establish credibility, create social proof, publish testimonials, build offers, create products, generate revenue, reinvest revenue, and continue until statistically improbable persistence begins to resemble talent. SAVO J acknowledges that much of this advice is sensible. SAVO J further acknowledges that following all of it simultaneously may leave insufficient time to have the experiences one would theoretically draw upon to create anything worth distributing. No resolution is offered. 31. CONTENT PILLARS. Buildings require pillars. Certain temples require pillars. Bridges may require pillars. Instagram accounts may survive without them. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Follower acknowledges that repeatable thematic categories can help audiences understand what to expect. Follower further acknowledges that knowing what to expect is not universally desirable. SAVO J reserves the right to occasionally disappoint a person who followed for one thing by doing another thing. 32. AUTHORITY. Demonstrating expertise may create trust. Repeating “I’m an expert” in bio copy may create something else. SAVO J shall not be required to publish screenshots of revenue, screenshots of texts from important people, photographs backstage, photographs in first class, photographs beside somebody more famous, screenshots of Spotify numbers, screenshots of Stripe dashboards, screenshots of bank balances, photographs from green rooms, photographs from private terminals, or any other evidence of proximity to success solely to establish that SAVO J is worth listening to. SAVO J may nevertheless post any of the foregoing if SAVO J thinks the photograph is good. Contradiction remains permitted. 33. SOCIAL PROOF. A large audience may indicate that many people are interested. A small audience may indicate that few people are interested. A large audience may also be wrong. A small audience may also be wrong. Numbers shall remain numbers until context is supplied. 34. VIRALITY. SAVO J makes no warranty that anything will go viral, trend, blow up, penetrate culture, become discourse, inspire think pieces, attract playlist placement, receive celebrity reposts, create a movement, build community, generate a flywheel, achieve product-market fit, increase top-of-funnel conversion, or satisfy any other phrase currently being said by adults in conference rooms. A Signal observed by eleven people remains a Signal. Follower acknowledges that a work may fail publicly despite being good, succeed publicly despite being bad, succeed because it is good, fail because it is bad, or perform in a manner offering insufficient evidence to conclude anything. This ambiguity may be irritating. 35. ONE MILLION FOLLOWERS. Follower acknowledges that one million followers constitutes a large number of followers. Follower further acknowledges that possession of one million followers does not guarantee that one million humans would help Follower move a couch. 36. FAME AS PERFORMANCE METRIC. Follower acknowledges that public attention is measurable and therefore unusually tempting to confuse with progress. Follower further acknowledges that being seen and being understood are separate conditions. Follower may optimize for one and accidentally reduce the other. Nothing herein requires Follower to choose. 37. PERSONAL BRAND MAINTENANCE. A public persona may require maintenance. Follower acknowledges that the more tightly a person defines what the public expects, the more efficiently the person may market and the more expensive deviation may become. A persona created to generate freedom may therefore, under certain circumstances, acquire job-like characteristics. This shall not automatically make the persona fraudulent. It may merely make it a job. 38. AUDIENCE EXPECTATIONS. Follower may develop expectations based upon prior Signals. SAVO J may violate those expectations. SAVO J may do so deliberately, accidentally, strategically, emotionally, artistically, commercially, stupidly, or because something else seemed more interesting. Follower remains free to leave. SAVO J remains free to notice. 39. METRICS. Likes, follows, streams, views, saves, shares, comments, completion percentages, click-through rates, email-open rates, follower growth, monthly listeners, retention curves, average watch time, rewatch percentage, reach, impressions, profile visits, link clicks, engagement ratios, and other measurements may be observed because pretending not to care about numbers while repeatedly checking them is a longstanding creative tradition. Such observation shall not automatically determine artistic value. Follower acknowledges that the distinction between a vanity metric and a meaningful metric may sometimes depend on whether the metric increased. 40. SUCCESS. In the event anything succeeds unexpectedly, SAVO J reserves the right to behave as though this was clearly the plan all along. 41. FAILURE. Some things may fail. Some jokes may not work. Some songs may be bad. Certain ideas may appear revolutionary at 1:14 a.m. and become completely indefensible by breakfast. SAVO J retains the right to revise, abandon, bury, resurrect, repurpose, forget, rediscover, or deny having previously been extremely excited about such material. 42. CASE STUDIES. Success occurring once shall not necessarily constitute a repeatable framework. Failure occurring once shall not necessarily constitute a warning from the universe. 43. SURVIVORSHIP BIAS. The internet contains a disproportionate number of detailed explanations from persons for whom the strategy worked. Follower acknowledges that persons for whom the identical strategy failed spectacularly may be less motivated to record a forty-five-minute YouTube video entitled “The Exact System I Used.” 44. “JUST START.” “Just start” may be excellent advice where fear is the primary obstacle. “Just start” may be less useful where Follower is attempting neurosurgery. 45. “DON’T OVERTHINK IT.” Follower acknowledges that certain matters are overthought. Follower further acknowledges that bridges, parachutes, aircraft maintenance, legal agreements, and certain tattoos may benefit from additional thought. 46. “DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT.” Sometimes. 47. “PERFECT IS THE ENEMY OF DONE.” Sometimes. 48. “SHIP IT.” Please stop yelling. 49. OWNERSHIP. Following SAVO J does not transfer copyright, trademark rights, master rights, publishing rights, format rights, adaptation rights, sequel rights, prequel rights, remake rights, synchronization rights, live rights, merchandising rights, distribution rights, Signal rights, or any right to create a confusingly similar account and later insist everybody independently arrived at the same highly specific idea. 50. SCREENSHOTS. Follower may take screenshots for ordinary lawful use. SAVO J makes no warranty that a screenshot will retain context, remain accurate after later edits, or successfully convince Follower’s friend that the strange thing Follower insists appeared briefly actually happened. 51. MERCHANDISE. The existence of recognizable branding does not mean a hoodie exists. Please refrain from requesting hoodie availability before any hoodie has been announced. 52. LIVE PERFORMANCE. Any future performance may contain loud sound, low frequencies, silence, unexpected silence, deliberate silence, accidental silence, crowd movement, standing, sitting, dancing, confusion, or moments during which Follower is uncertain whether something has malfunctioned. It may have. SAVO J reserves the right to continue. 53. FORCE MAJEURE. SAVO J shall not be liable for delay, interruption, silence, absence, disappearance, failure to transmit, or failure to post resulting from acts of God, acts attributed to God by third parties, weather, fire, flood, earthquake, pandemic, war, civil disturbance, labor dispute, power failure, internet outage, platform outage, server failure, corrupted project file, broken cable, dead battery, airport Wi-Fi, missing adapter, software behaving strangely, forgotten password, forgotten password to the password manager, loss of access to the email account required to recover the forgotten password to the password manager, Mercury retrograde whether or not Mercury retrograde actually does anything, or simply deciding that it is a nice day outside. 54. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, SAVO J SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR CONSEQUENTIAL, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, INDIRECT, EXEMPLARY, COSMIC, ALGORITHMIC, TEMPORAL, RHYTHMIC, CREATOR-ECONOMY-RELATED, PARASOCIAL, ROMANTIC, OR VIBES-BASED DAMAGES, EVEN IF SAVO J HAS BEEN ADVISED THAT THE VIBES COULD GET WEIRD. 55. LOST PROFITS. SAVO J shall not be liable for profits Follower believes Follower would have earned had Follower spent the time reading these Terms building a funnel. 56. LOST PRODUCTIVITY. Follower waived this claim approximately twenty minutes ago. 57. OPPORTUNITY COST. Yes. 58. DISPUTE RESOLUTION. Prior to commencing formal proceedings, Follower is encouraged to determine whether everybody could perhaps just have a sandwich. 59. SANDWICH SELECTION. No preference is imposed. 60. GOVERNING LAW. These Terms shall be governed by applicable law in the relevant jurisdiction, without regard to conflict-of-law principles, notwithstanding the apparent origin of any Signal from a jurisdiction whose borders, administrative procedures, governing body, or existence have not yet been formally established. 61. JURISDICTION. Follower consents to the jurisdiction of courts possessing jurisdiction. 62. THAT SENTENCE. Counsel confirms Section 61 is technically true and functionally useless. 63. SEVERABILITY. If any provision contained herein is determined to be invalid, illegal, unenforceable, metaphysically incoherent, grammatically indefensible, commercially unreasonable, emotionally revealing, or simply too stupid even for this document, the remaining provisions shall continue in full force and effect. Unfortunately, there are still quite a lot of them. 64. WAIVER. Failure by SAVO J to enforce any provision shall not constitute waiver. Failure to notice shall not constitute approval. Failure to care shall not necessarily constitute failure to notice. Failure to understand what Follower is talking about shall not constitute bad faith. 65. ENTIRE AGREEMENT. These Terms, together with any actual Privacy Policy and other legally required notices, constitute the understanding governing the Service and supersede all prior discussions concerning whether following an Instagram account should reasonably require this much paperwork. It should not. Yet here we are. 66. MODIFICATION OF TERMS. SAVO J may amend these Terms from time to time. SAVO J does not realistically expect Follower to return and reread them. Indeed, SAVO J does not realistically expect Follower to have read them the first time. 67. HIDDEN CHANGES. SAVO J reserves the right, subject to applicable law, to quietly change one completely inconsequential sentence somewhere in these Terms and never tell anybody. 68. POSSIBILITY OF SOMETHING BEING HIDDEN HERE. Follower acknowledges that extremely long Terms of Service provide an unusually effective place to hide something because nobody reads Terms of Service. No representation is made that anything is currently hidden. 69. NO TREASURE HUNT. Section 68 shall not be construed as authorization to begin examining every comma. 70. COMMA REVIEW. Seriously. 71. ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF SCROLLING. Follower acknowledges that reaching this point required an amount of scrolling grossly disproportionate to the simple act Follower originally intended to perform. 72. THUMB FATIGUE. SAVO J assumes no liability. 73. SUNK COST. Follower may now be continuing solely because stopping this close to the end would feel unsatisfying. SAVO J understands. 74. ACTUAL END PROXIMITY. “This close” is relative. 75. NO PRIZE. There is no prize for reaching the bottom. No discount code will appear. No merchandise will unlock. No unreleased track will automatically begin playing. No badge shall be issued. No certificate shall be mailed. No private community shall open. No founder will call. No investor will wire funds. No secret society shall make contact. No concierge will ask Follower to select a preferred airport. Follower’s parents will not be notified. 76. FUTURE EXCEPTION. SAVO J reserves the right to contradict Section 75 someday solely because almost nobody will ever see this sentence. 77. READING COMPLETION. If Follower has genuinely read each preceding Section, Follower has demonstrated either unusual discipline, unusual avoidance of another task, professional responsibility, insomnia, suspicion that something was hidden, or a concerning inability to stop once started. 78. NO MORAL HIGH GROUND. SAVO J participates in the internet described throughout these Terms. SAVO J maintains social accounts, intends to release things, would prefer people see those things, may monitor analytics, may seek distribution, may ask for email addresses, may sell things, may promote things, may become excited when numbers increase, may become irritated when numbers decrease, may use strategies mocked elsewhere in this document, and may eventually discover that some person ridiculed herein was correct. Participation in a system does not prohibit observation of the system. Observation of a system does not exempt SAVO J from participation in the system. Self-awareness does not automatically solve hypocrisy. Contradiction may remain unresolved. 79. PURPOSE OF THESE TERMS. These Terms exist partly to establish legal terms, partly to make the ridiculousness of Terms of Service visible, partly to govern a social-media follow with an amount of contractual language wildly disproportionate to the transaction, partly because nobody reads these documents, partly because SAVO J wanted to know how far the document could go before the document itself became the thing, and partly because once this started it became difficult to know where to stop. 80. COUNSEL’S POSITION. Counsel would have stopped considerably earlier. 81. SAVO J’S POSITION. Keep going. 82. COUNSEL’S RESPONSE. This Section was added by the client. RANDOM AUDIT. SAVO J reserves the right, at any future time and without prior notice, to ask Follower what Section 3 concerned. “Deborah Cox” shall constitute a passing answer. “I don’t know, the legal shit” shall not. No audit is currently planned. The existence of this clause is intended solely to create a tiny amount of unnecessary anxiety.

FALSE COMPLIANCE. Follower shall not tell another person “yeah, I read it” solely because Follower read Sections 76 through 81. For purposes of these Terms, this shall constitute having read the ending. No partial academic credit shall be awarded.

FOR PERSONS WHO SKIPPED DIRECTLY TO THE BOTTOM. If Follower arrived at this Section by dragging the scrollbar immediately to the bottom, repeatedly flicking downward at high speed, using browser search to locate the phrase “final notice,” or otherwise bypassing the preceding Terms in the expectation that the ending would contain the good part, Follower acknowledges that this behavior was anticipated. Follower further acknowledges that Follower has spent less time reviewing the Terms governing SAVO J than Follower spent selecting a restaurant last Saturday. This is permitted. It is also the entire fucking point.

PARENTAL NOTIFICATION. Follower’s parents will not be notified regarding Follower’s acceptance of these Terms, decision to follow SAVO J, failure to read these Terms, decision to skip directly to this Section, or any other activity contemplated herein. Notwithstanding the foregoing, SAVO J expressly reserves the right to notify Follower’s parents if, in SAVO J’s reasonable judgment, they would be disappointed. No representation is made that SAVO J possesses Follower’s parents’ contact information, intends to obtain such information, has established procedures for evaluating parental disappointment, or possesses the resources necessary to administer a scalable parental-notification program.

FINAL NOTICE. SAVO J will neither confirm nor deny that SAVO J has read every word of these Terms. If Follower has, in fact, read every word of these Terms, Follower may wish to consider finding additional hobbies. This recommendation shall not constitute criticism of Follower’s current hobbies, nor shall it require Follower to abandon any present recreational activity reasonably capable of producing joy, friendship, exercise, competence, sunlight exposure, moderate hand-eye coordination, or a socially acceptable reason to leave the house.

PICKLEBALL. Although certain observers have suggested that pickleball may be losing momentum, cultural heat, novelty, growth velocity, social relevance, or whatever other metric is presently being used to determine whether large numbers of adults hitting a perforated plastic ball over a low net remain culturally significant, SAVO J does not presently believe pickleball is going anywhere. Follower is free to disagree. No investment recommendation is intended. SAVO J owns no known pickleball-related securities.

The light web, dark web, large technology companies, small technology companies, data brokers, retailers, financial institutions, mobile applications, loyalty programs, abandoned websites, people you accidentally gave your email address to in 2014, and at least one company whose name you do not recognize already possess some combination of your email address, phone number, mailing address, browsing history, purchasing habits, approximate location, birthday, favorite pizza topping, bank account information, Social Security number, mother’s maiden name, and the fact that you spent eleven minutes comparing air fryers last February.

Accordingly, SAVO J believes it would be dishonest to promise that your email address will be treated like a priceless secret.

It is not priceless.

We therefore promise to sell your email address to the highest bidder, provided that the highest bidder exists, is willing to pay anything for information that can be easily obtained elsewhere with minimal effort, and somehow concludes that your particular email address is worth acquiring individually.

We anticipate little interest. Except from us. We still want it.

Kind of.

Whatever.

Enter your email below if you would like occasional Signals from SAVO J.